Holiday blahs.

What do you do, when there is nothing you WANT to do? I get responsibility, duties and things that HAVE to be done. Being a stay at home mom, and a student on break right now, the only things I have to do is cook, clean and do laundry. Even if I worked, I'd still have most of these responsibilities. I spend the last two weeks making sure this house was organized and picked up. It's not right now, and that's okay. Day after Thanksgiving, there are baby toys every where and the kitchen could use picking up, but I don't want to today. So I'm not going to, I'm going to sit here and do nothing. Don't get me wrong, before I go to bed tonight, I'll go around and clean up all the toys. I'll do a load of dishes and clean up the kitchen. I like a clean house, but having it be messy today, isn't going to bother me till tonight. I have a cup of coffee, and a place to empty my thoughts. 


I never did a Thanksgiving post this year. I thought about it, but I guess it just bothers me that people need a day to stop and be thankful for what they have. If you have gone without, you don't need reminding to be thankful. Usually once a week (at least) I tell my husband I'm thankful for him and all he does for our family. Every time the kids do something to help, I always tell them thank you and that I appreciate their help. I know a lot of people that don't do this, and I don't understand why. I don't get why we need a single day to remind us to slow down and be thankful for what we have. I guess that's what our society get's for being so fast paced. 


The saying is true sometimes people don't know what they have until it's gone. I remembered yesterday 2 years ago was when I had decided it was time for me to leave. He was having a fit about something and didn't even wish the kids a happy thanksgiving and that was the straw that broke the camels back. It sounds dumb to let that be the deciding moment, but after all the other abuse and neglect it was just the end. Don't get me wrong I didn't think about it much yesterday, but he remembered to call them. I bet, he won't forget to call on holidays or birthdays anymore, because he may realize now what he had and that it's gone. Sometimes it takes a rude awaking. I think that us leaving has made him a better Dad to them, or at least that what it appears to be. Hopefully he makes the changes he needs to make, to find someone he can truly be happy with. 


Ugh, I just realized that Christmas is only a month away. I have to get motivated to finish my Christmas shopping. I have 16 people left to buy for, and no drive to get it done. I've got to say, I'm really not feeling the holidays this year. I don't even know why, I think probably because yet again we are broke.