Damn the Rusty Shovel

We all have things that get to us. It can be something that just happened, or something that happened years ago. Most of the time to bring it all back it takes a small jogging of the memory. Feelings of regret at the way a situation was handled, or fear bringing up something you want to forget. Thankfully I don't have this happen often any more. This is the part about healing I like. Things that used to bother me a lot either don't bother me any more or both me so little that I hardly miss a beat. I had an instance like that today. I had an old friend message me on facebook and ask me what happened. I didn't really want to dig it all up, so I simply stated that I left. Not the entire truth (we weren't close enough for me to feel obligated to give them the entire nitty gritty detailed story). It just got me thinking about how often I avoid the subject, like you would avoid the dentist or something else unpleasant. It really did leave a bad taste in my mouth, the marriage and really the whole divorce experience. I plan to never go down that road again. So far, so good :).

Seriously though, I think that it takes awful experiences sometimes to help people really appreciate a good thing when they get it. I can't say my entire first marriage was bad, it mostly was but like all marriages it didn't start out that way. What I experienced during that time frame of my life has certainly taught me how to love deeper, and respect a good thing when I have it, because I know what I bad thing feels like.

So I sit here in the kitchen my awesome family in various places of the house. The hubby upstairs with the baby as she plays before bed. Tyler is watching a movie, and Julie is upstairs in her room doing something. It's peaceful. It's not perfect, but no household is, but when there is a problem we resolve it and move on. It doesn't get brought up over and over again over weeks and weeks.

So this is what being in love, and being loved is like. It's everything I always thought it would be. To be at a place in my life when I can truly say I'm happy is a nice change. I have an awesome husband that actually helps and understands. He doesn't get pissy when I have off days, or choose not to pick up. I have three great kids, who to say the least keep me on my toes and keep life interesting. I couldn't see my life without them.

Though there are moments when something from the past gets dug up with the rusty shovel, they are far and few between. They don't hurt, they are just annoying. As with all the little annoyances of life take them in stride and move on.

Seriously though? I'm loving my life!